Saying thank you is good manners. That’s not up for debate. But we do need to talk about the way to respond when being thanked. You need to say something, right? Many people, particularly in the US, reply to “thank you” with “you’re welcome。”

　　毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)，道謝是種好習(xí)慣。可問(wèn)題來(lái)了，別人向你道謝時(shí)，你該說(shuō)什么？你總得說(shuō)點(diǎn)什么，不是嗎？許多人，尤其是美國(guó)人，聽(tīng)到對(duì)方說(shuō)“thank you”(“謝謝”)后，常會(huì)答一句“you’re welcome”(“不謝”)。

　　This has begun to change, as young people use and hear “you’re welcome” sarcastically. And it’s not just young people: To people from other parts of the world, “you’re welcome” can sound rude。

　　如今的回答方式已經(jīng)改變，因?yàn)閷?duì)年輕人來(lái)說(shuō)，“you’re welcome”一語(yǔ)多少帶點(diǎn)諷刺意味。而且，不止年輕人這么認(rèn)為，在其他一些國(guó)家，“you’re welcome”聽(tīng)上去并不禮貌。

　　Brits, for example, can’t help but hear a hint of condescension in there. But the problem with “you’re welcome” isn’t sarcasm. Well, not the whole problem. It’s about meaning。

　　比如，英國(guó)人就覺(jué)得，“you’re welcome”聽(tīng)來(lái)有些傲慢。不過(guò)，嘲諷之意倒不是個(gè)問(wèn)題，至少不是個(gè)大問(wèn)題。真正值得探究的，是這個(gè)短語(yǔ)的意思。

　　Not that this is the intention, but “you’re welcome” can sound like you’re taking the polite gesture from the thanker, and bringing attention to your kindness. To the unaccustomed ear, it can sound like “yes, I did you a favour, you should be thankful。” It’s not intentional, I’m sure. But that doesn’t make it any less ambiguous。

　　“You’re welcome”聽(tīng)上去就像你試圖不顧道謝者的禮節(jié)，強(qiáng)行凸顯你的善意一樣，雖然你可能不曾意識(shí)到這點(diǎn)。但在有些人聽(tīng)來(lái)，你就像在說(shuō)“瞧，我不幫你了嘛，你理應(yīng)要謝謝我”。所謂言者無(wú)心，怕就怕聽(tīng)者有意。

　　Similarly “no problem”， or the reply favoured by our Australian friends, “no worries”， are both flawed. Often said with a dismissive shrug, “no problem” can be interpreted as simply denying that being kind is an inconvenience. But to those used to hearing “you’re welcome,” “no problem” can be sound like being kind is sometimes an inconvenience…and that you might not have helped if it had been。

　　另外，“no problem”(“沒(méi)問(wèn)題”)以及澳洲人愛(ài)用的“no worries”(“別擔(dān)心”)同樣值得斟酌。嘴上說(shuō)著“no problem”，加上無(wú)謂地聳聳肩，大概是說(shuō)幫忙不是什么麻煩事。不過(guò)，對(duì)那些聽(tīng)?wèi)T了“you’re welcome”的人而言，“no problem”似乎暗示了幫忙有時(shí)候真是件麻煩事。若情況真的無(wú)比棘手，你絕不會(huì)挺身而出的。

　　Young people tend to respond to being thanked with “no problem”， which older people find rude. So it’s a generational problem, yes. But also a linguistic one. Why is this? Here’s where it gets technical…

　　當(dāng)你道謝時(shí)，年輕人通常會(huì)回一句“no problem”。這在老年人看來(lái)，實(shí)在太不禮貌了。所以，這算個(gè)代溝問(wèn)題，沒(méi)錯(cuò)。不過(guò)這也是個(gè)語(yǔ)言學(xué)問(wèn)題。至于原因嘛，就得涉及專業(yè)知識(shí)了……

　　Both “you’re welcome” and “no problem” are phatic expressions, an expression whose sole function is to perform a social role. We use phatic expressions all the time. For example when we respond to “how are you?” by saying “good, you?” Or by responding to “what’s up?” with “what’s up?”。

　　“You’re welcome”和“no problem”都是客套用語(yǔ)，僅僅用作應(yīng)酬。我們時(shí)時(shí)都會(huì)說(shuō)這樣的客套話，比如有人向你問(wèn)好“how are you?”(“你好嗎？”)，你就會(huì)說(shuō)“good, you?”(“我很好，你呢？”)。有人和你打招呼“what’s up?”(“嘿呦！”)，你便回答“what’s up”(“嘿呦！”)

　　Often we use a phatic response when we don’t know what else to say. Saying “I’m OK,” for example, even when we’re not. Or to simply acknowledge someone, or something, when there is no need to convey actual information. We know people aren’t (usually) actively asking how we are, so we respond phatically. But because “thank you” is a sincere expression, many common phatic responses sound empty in comparison. The emptiness of the response is why some people tend to find “no problem” or “you’re welcome” dismissive。

　　我們常用客套話，是因?yàn)槲覀儾恢勒f(shuō)什么。比如，即便我們真有事，嘴上還是會(huì)說(shuō)“I’m OK。”(“我沒(méi)事”)。有時(shí)候，我們只是提到某人某事而已，并不想多說(shuō)什么。大多數(shù)時(shí)候，問(wèn)好就是個(gè)口頭套話而已，于是我們也就用套話回答了。然而，“thank you”往往帶著真情實(shí)意，相比之下，再用套話回答就顯得虛偽了。或許，正是這種虛偽，讓人們覺(jué)得“no problem”或“you’re welcome”聽(tīng)上去充滿了輕蔑。

　　So, what are the options? Are we at a linguistic impasse?

　　那么，當(dāng)別人道謝時(shí)，究竟該說(shuō)什么呢？我們真的陷入了語(yǔ)言困境嗎？

　　Thankfully, no。

　　謝天謝地，沒(méi)有。

　　As the Brits have long known, the correct way to respond to “thank you” is to say “thank you”. Similarly, you can respond to “cheers” with “cheers”. This response is still phatic in purpose, but the tone and context can’t be misread。

　　英國(guó)人早就知道，別人說(shuō)“thank you”(“謝謝”)時(shí)，正確的回答也是“thank you”(“謝謝”)，類似于別人說(shuō)“cheers”(“干杯”)，你也跟著說(shuō)“cheers”(“干杯”)就行。此番回答聽(tīng)上去依舊客套，但沒(méi)了諷刺味道，也不會(huì)引起歧義。

　　Effectively, you’re thanking the thanker for their thanks. Everybody wins! And there’s no need to get stuck in a thank you loop; once each will do。

　　事實(shí)上，回答“thank you”，你是在感謝對(duì)方的感謝行為。這就是所謂的雙贏嘛！另外，雙方也沒(méi)有必要無(wú)休無(wú)止地感謝下去，說(shuō)上一輪就夠了。

　　Thank you。

　　謝謝。

　　Vocabulary

　　condescension: 以恩人自居的態(tài)度；傲慢態(tài)度

　　dismissive: 表示輕視的

　　phatic: 應(yīng)酬的；僅僅是交際性的